Why depressed males are unable to find love.

This might be the most useful blog post I’ve written so far, to be honest. The answer to a so long and brutal paradox you have been living in might end here. So let’s take a look at how, shall we?

Let’s first define the two primary genders first, and then look over what makes them so different, in order to be able to understand the way one’s needs differ from the other’s.

Women, also referred to as the “beautiful sex”, by definition, are the tender part of a relationship, they are the beauty, the care, and the help of the couple. While you might have not noticed, the word help, can be seen from two different perspectives, both physical, and emotional. While women, thanks to an evolutionary cycle of millions of years have developed into human beings which generally like and will help out cooking, around the house, and what not, they are also usually the emotional support for their partners, however, there is a difference between being weak, needing some reassuring, and being whiny, in case we are talking about a man, which will ultimately and subconsciously repulse women.

You see, dear reader, in the ancient times, women were considered not being able to do most manly things, while males were warriors, knights, gladiators, fighters, whose social belief made them to not ever feel weakness, because this is what the society they existed in believed is right, and was passed around from generation to generation, until humans began to understand the fact that we are more complex than our beliefs, and that we are simply unable to restrain or define a male by it’s strength, and a woman by it’s usefulness.

Men, on the other hand, are expected to be the pillar of the foundation a women can offer, being always strong, financially capable, fit, and able to defend their loved one. We are not going to cover the way males use their behavior and looks in order to give off that feeling, but I will definitely tell you why, perhaps are unable to get into a relationship because all you need is someone to hold you and tell you everything’s gonna be okay. In ancient times, I can imagine this need was mostly present in kids, and mature men already killed it, muting them because of social beliefs and rules. However, in our current time-line, the boundary between man and woman has melded, we could affirm, to a such degree that  there could be representants of both sexes which took over one or more behavior from the other one, and no, I am not talking about homosexuality, bisexuality, or anything similar,  let’s leave out sexual preferences and identities of this discussion. We are purely talking behavior that a male, or a female took over from the other, which results in a wide variety of possible mates. Let’s take a look at this first.

Males, or females, can be strong, dominant, tender, intellectual, weak, sensible, aggressive[…]. While these behaviors were considered to be one sided, in the 21st century, it’s easily acceptable for a dominant woman to be with a subduing male, or any other combination of these, you define it. What the point of this is, that no matter your behavior patterns, there is always someone of the opposite sex who will accept you the way you are, but you were searching in the wrong place, or just haven’t found it yet.

Now, that we have gotten down the fact that one’s behavior and way of being is not a relationship killer(unless…you know, you overdo something to destroy it), let’s take a look at why you, as perhaps, a depressed person, the reason being any, are unable to get into a relationship.

We know that depression is an issue that affects the way we are behaving, breaking us down, making us feel useless, destroying our milestones that we are trying to reach, and in most cases, leaving us so broken that all we want is a woman, or a girl, for the younger readers, who will hold us and reassure us that everything will be okay, not to talk about our needs, like sex, which can be a huge hog in our life when we are missing it.

Why what you need, as a depressed person, is not going to last if you get it in the way you are?

Yes, it is absolutely possible for you, as a depressed individual, to find true love, or just a partner. However, a relationship cannot have the weight on only one side, which in our case, might be the woman. Sure, it might help you motivate yourself, some encouraging might get you to do what is right, but unless you are able to control your own emotions, at least to some degree, is a very dangerous game. It might fire back on you, ending the relationship, and leaving you a complete mess yet again. I know how tough it sounds, but I am not saying you can’t have bad days, or days when you think you are done, but it’s important that in general, you are expected to hold your ground, to deal with difficulties in a much better way than your partner, even when the situation seems impossible to fix.

As a result of this, the importance of self development, and getting a hang of your life, emotionally and socially, is the goal here. I, personally, tried a thousand ways of fixing my life when I was at the bottom, and I am going to show you the most effective ways,  in my future blogg post, in the next few days, because we are sadly running out of time.

There are rare exceptions to this, but, the sad and cruel truth is, no matter how much you cry, or are broken down, the chances of someone coming around and saving you from your current situation are kind of slim, and that is why, in order to get into a relationship, will require an effort from your side in order to get a hold, at least partially, or yourself. It will take effort from your part, no matter how hard it seems to reach your goals. And even though it may seem impossible, I guarantee you that breaking down the problem and taking baby steps at first, is the best way in order for you to get back on your feet. Your life might be in ruins, your mind also. But, a positive and increasingly productive behavior will give you the necessary things to be able to find someone in your life.

I really hope my blog helped you to better understand why a depressed male, who is desperate for attention and care, is mostly unable to get a partner, and that the only way to stop yourself from falling into the never ending spiral of self destruction is not in the hands of someone else, but purely yours. Depression is a paradox, and paradoxes cannot be solved, unless we step outside the boundaries of words, logic, and definitions. I will teach you to step out of yours, and get yourself together, build up your person, learning to be stronger than negative emotions and chemical reactions, and who’s only defeat is not learning from a failure. Thank you for reading, I hope I will see you around the next time. My name is Alex, and if you are new to my blog, welcome. 

P.S: I’d like to apologize for the lack of any visual content, or the unstructured text, since while I am writing this I am in a location where  the internet connection falls every five seconds. I will get these problems solved, and hopefully offer you my first series of blogs, split up in multiple parts, which will deal with the different difficulties and ways of dealing with them in order to become a better person today, by working on yourself and your weaknesses.

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