How self-help books will mess up your life, and how to actually fix it.

Have you ever wondered why self-help, self-improvement, or self-development, whatever you would like to call it, has lately become such a huge deal? How many motivational book writers do you see as being  people who travel the world, and make a lot of money from motivational speeches, selling books with such a huge success?

The truth is, personal development is a niche  that acts like a rope, which, at one side has tons of money, and living off your uplifted hopes, and at the other side, actual facts, and tips that will change your life,  only if they were at a more than 10% ratio in a whole book, article, or even program that you’ve enrolled in, hoping that in 3 months, in 6 months, in 9 months, your life will be all-right. Isn’t that a beautiful vision?

No depression, no financial problems, no negativity anymore, all your past, bad luck, trauma, turned in the end into a constant flow of success and happiness. But as a cow, you are happy until your needs are met, and the truth is seemingly a lie, flaying about right in front of you, while your hopes will keep producing milk, so you can be milked by those who live off this smart strategy.

When you hear about about success stories, prior to taking up self-help as a strategy, learning, developing, working hard on yourself, you are not reminded about the thousands who failed, because they wouldn’t be a good advertising, would they? The one thing, you, as a a practitioner of self-improvement don’t realize, is that even though the most popular self-development material producers are milking you as much as they can, while also providing just enough for you to keep coming back(and this is even alright, if you think about it), you won’t become successful, better, or work harder just from reading something in that got your hopes higher than you can actually reach at the given point. Let’s see exactly, why not?

The false hope syndrome(Aka  how to fuck yourself over with a simple book)

The stories of those who succeed, contrary to the huge ratio of those who don’t, is never going to be about taking up self-help, and then miraculously changing their lives. “Sigh, tell me something I don’t know”

You purchase these books, these courses, and then expect to become an undefeated death machine by the end. Do you have any idea how many hundreds, thousands of hours have the people writing this, and the people whose success stories always cross your radar have put in, aside reading, by actually practicing, grinding, making sacrifices, losing people like friends, family members,  and most importantly time, taking huge risks and not rarely finding themselves at the edge of breaking down, or at the edge of some crisis? You do. And then use motivational words, videos, or speeches to get your body to pump so much adrenaline and serotonin into your nervous system, you will go for about two weeks, maybe a month, breaking obstacles, but also getting constantly stuck,  just to find yourself giving up on your goals, dreams, and hopes, because, let’s face it, change is hard.

Change is hard(Aka motivation and confidence won’t cut it)

For those of you struggling with bad behaviors or habits that have turned your life into a mess, be it young students, struggling with studying, or people in their 30’s who look forward to finally and definitively make a change in their lives,  have their hearths in the right place, making a change for the better. But you are not mentally prepared yet for the amount of physical, and emotional pain that will lead down this path, and putting your hopes up so high will just ruin your perception of not only success, but also about the perception you have about yourself. And it’s not okay.

What we believe, and what we can do(Aka we are amazing, but we are are weak right now)

We, as humans, are not only capable of amazing things, but we can also be consumed by our false expectations. That’s not to say that you are weak, or unable to do something you want to do. That’s to say the fact that the way you have been living so far has made you weaker, and please, show me one person on the top who just simply gone from zero to one hundred(there are exceptions, of course, but the chance of you being one are quite damn low). Your mind and body can do absolutely out of this world things, from physical endurance to incomprehensible genius, we can do it all. But your mind is weak. This being said, I am trying to put in contrast the fact that we can do whatever we see fit, and put into our minds, but it will definitely take hard work, like it or not, later, or starting from right now. And while a large part of self-help material focuses on giving you just enough so they can keep milking you, we have established the fact that most of us won’t amount to that level of success in any way unless we will take action ourselves. “So, how can I actually make a change in my life?”

Remember that I bashed multiple times the fact that self help material is not always useful, and often it will milk you? And even though I’ve put this into perspective, you are still blind to the fact that, first of all, motivationsuccess, successfun. 

That’s right, self-help does actually work, and even though there may be a lot of ways it is taking away your money for a few tips, it still gives you those few tips, which will come at a such low price(in case we talk about books), that you can easily afford it. Your mind, however, doesn’t care.

Do you like graphs, numbers, instructions?

I’d guess not, since we are naturally attracted to visual information that is pleasing to the eye, that we like, and are willing to take in. What if I told you, that some of the best books that will give a great, concrete insight and instructions on your actual problems and how to solve them, are least popular?

It’s true, we reject what we do not like, but if we want to make a change in our lives, through the use of self-improvement strategies, materials, and tips, we will not only have to deal with motivational hearth-warming speeches, but also with a lot of boring, damned, disgusting amount of information most of our minds wouldn’t willingly learn, just like math in high school, which you most probably did because you were forced to , in some way.

Success will compensate for boring

Taking up the latest and hottest material in self help, enrolling to the best courses, will still leave you in a vulnerable position when you finish, because they do not teach one extremely important rule, which you can make out from the title above. There is no written way to follow life’s path in order to succeed, however, it is your call to make out what you can from everything you’ve learned, and then immediately apply it to your real life problems, without passing over the “boring” lessons. Because as boring as something might be, usually, in the self-improvement field, it will help you reach what you seek in the long run. And once you’ve got what you wanted, at least partially, I assure you, the reward will be more than enough to compensate for the hours you’ve put in, learning, grinding, or practicing seemingly boring things, but which actually helped you. It’s up to you, however, to decide if you’ve got what it takes to make it up there. I am only here to give you the instructions that stand at the base of getting over problems we all conflict with in the day to day life, and to help you maximize your potential.

So if you are looking to actually change what you have been doing wrong in your life so far, from bad habits, to lack of motivation, you could find helpful my articles, so I invite you to stick with me through this journey. In case you are a new reader, welcome.

 

 

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