What if I fail?

What if I don’t live up to the expectations, what if I mess up something I worked on for so long and so hard. Failure is one of the most demoralizing enemies of a weak mind, and giving it the keys to your emotional well being is the worst mistake most us us have made before we learned how to deal with it in a proper way.

The truth is that we always want something we don’t have, and once we get it, once we reach that goal, once we succeed, we are happy, satisfied, overly joyful for the next few days, weeks, years. Eventually, however, the feeling of success and accomplishment wears off, leaving us once more thirsty for new things that we pursue by completing objectives required in order to succeed, with an unbreakable persistence and desire towards reaching our goal, believing that once we got that, our life will be better, we will find happiness, and we will finally feel complete.

However, if we do not succeed, in most cases, we break down, we stop being as productive, leaving our life to drift across the waves of life without even fighting for what we wanted, because now it’s gone. This can lead not only to this temporary sadness and disappointment in our lives, but also make us change our habits that in the first place led to where we wanted to get, but also change us on a personal level, leaving us lost. Such self-deprecating behavior is one of the things that I saw even inside of me, and in most of the people surrounding me. If we would have succeeded, we would have been happier, that’s true. But once we have something that we fought for so hardly for long enough, eventually, we want something else, sending us to square one. Life is like an endless procedural circle of dreams we chase, accompanied by countless choices that we are solely responsible for.

Life is not only about your goals, while goals are not the only thing that define you. What defines you, along goals, is perception, perspective, and personal image, along a few other things. Where is that fire in our eyes when we are broken down inside, when we can’t seem to reach the light anymore, thinking we failed horribly and permanently, and that we were not good enough, leaving our dreams to drift just like dust in the wind?

The beauty of us is that we can burn brighter than any star, but, without the ability to love ourselves when failure comes, our fire can also burn us to the ground.

We are never taught in high school or university what to do when we fail. What are we supposed to do? Are we supposed to give up, lower our expectations, and live a life simply to die at the end, and have as an excuse that we tried, but we weren’t good enough? Or are we supposed to find a way to get back on our feet, and no matter how many times we mess up, still be able to be who we want, despite the obstacles we encounter, without putting ourselves or our goals down. What’s worse, is that some of the narrow minded parts of our current day society simply leave those who didn’t quite make the cut aside, because, as a fact, people are disposable and there are always going to be others. If you failed, you are just as good as done. Too bad that is just some modern day superstition.

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The reality of a simple day to day person who accepts it’s condition looks so far fetched compared to a successful, confident, and happy one, however they are both only split by a thin line known as confidence, which only depends on what you believe about yourself and your situation.

All this breaks down into a few simple facts and rules:

People will break you ☻

Love will break you ♥

Life will break you ♣

Basically, anything will break you. but nothing will break you down more than yourself.

We all fail, let’s face it. Some of us mess up worse than others, and some of us mess up so badly we fear trying again. Failure has at it’s core loss, which is responsible for making your life a seemingly endless row of bad choices and sadness. But take a moment and replace loss with lesson. As soon as you do this, failures are not failures anymore, they are just a chance for you to reach what you want, by using these lessons as a building block of your success. But once you’ve learned to substitute failure with lesson, you only have one more step to go through in order to find the answer to “What if I fail?”. And that step is, dear reader, acceptance. Your brain cannot begin to work as effectively if you are constantly put down by the wrong choices or results you’ve got,  neither can it perform as well if you are still hanging on to a negative perception of yourself. Shit happens. Be it in the classroom, at exams, in life, at the workplace, finances, or relationships. Basically, with or without hanging on to negativity and self-deprecating yourself, you cannot change what happened. However, as soon as you train your mind to be able to accept, and consider every failure a new chance to do something better next time, you will soon stop worrying about it and you will be able to reach your goals, your dreams, and desires. And the sooner you know this, and apply it, the sooner you will realize that there was never a wall in front of what you wanted, but a mere deception made up of negative emotions.

And not that you know what to do if you you ever fail in life and feel like there is no way for you to get over it, don’t forget to give this lesson to others in need. And as always, thank you for reading.

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