When we drop our childhood dreams of becoming superheroes and start having more realistic expectations, we are quickly hit by the standard of happiness which is represented by love in many cases.
There are many of us who get stuck with this principle, living with the sole purpose to find completion through love and relationships. What you don’t know however, is that this might be the biggest mistake you ever make when you take this decision. Having someone o hug you through the cold nights is great, however it’s not so great to forget treating yourself as a priority because of an ideal that really can’t be filled through this mentality.
Some of us chase love because we never had part of it, and over time the need for it intensified so much that we see it as our only goal. For those who take this path, it is rare to end well, because it will result either in accepting any kind of person to be trusted, without knowing who you might be dealing with, either your goals will slowly sink to the bottom of your list, because having a relationship requires dedication, a lot of time, and money, which will quickly exhaust you. You might also get rejected by nearly everyone you try to find to dedicate yourself to, because you will always come off as needy as long as you are not the priority.
Focusing on yourself when you need someone else is one of the hardest things to do, and giving up instant gratification in order to make yourself happier in the long run is so difficult that just the thought of it will put you back from the never ending loop of non productivity.
The harsh truth is however, that you need to be your own master, learning to deal with difficulties on your own, and prioritizing yourself should always be the way you see things. When you will be able to handle and respect yourself over anyone else, without retreating from reaching your goals, when you will be able to face challenges and failures, then you are truly ready for someone else in your life.
Disappointment and sadness doesn’t come just from the lack of a mate, it also depends a lot on the fact that you have no direction in life. When was the last time you tried something new, traveled, took a course on something, had fun the way you wanted to? When was the last time you created something, when you proven someone wrong through your actions and achievements? And most importantly, when was the last time you set a new goal for yourself, and pursued it successfully? If the answer is “quite a long time ago”, or “I don’t even remember”, then perhaps you just found the answer to why relationships are not going to give you the world and why only you can do that.