What has loneliness taught you?

How many times have you heard the statement “a hungry stomach, an empty pocket, and a broken heart are the best teachers in life”? Quite a lot, I’d reckon. It is a universal truth based on the lack of human necessities, which  will almost surely bring images from your past or present back, and not without the appropriate feelings like sadness, guilt, fear, and so on.

Besides food, clothes, money, and all the materialistic things that we can afford, there is kindness. 

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We need it, we can barely live without it. And it is the lack of it, the lack of a hug, the lack of a partner, of a presence in our life that can hit the hardest. It’s like life pulls out it’s ace, and decimates us without giving us the smallest chance to flip the cards.

From a scale of one to ten, If we were to ask people who throughout most of their lives have been, or are currently dealing with loneliness, how painful is it, the answers would be off the chart, because love is equal to a cure to anything we might be struggling with. There is absolutely nothing that can be compared with nights, weeks, months or even years spent with such a burden as the lack of love and kindness in our lives, as there is nothing else that can be compared to the feeling of it.

What does all this amount to?

Besides seemingly endless nights spent wondering if this will last forever and emotional trauma, trust issues, and the development of a mental illness,  the constant loneliness in one’s life will lead to many questions and thoughts:

Why me?

Is there something wrong with me?

Am I meant to live like this forever?

If I just have had this one thing, I’m not asking for anything else.

This is unbearable , wish I wouldn’t have to deal with this on my own.

Guess I was meant to be like this.

The most painful thing to ever feel is undoubtedly watching someone you would have given the world to, giving some unworthy random stranger everything you deserved.  And when this repeat’s itself over and over again, you end up in a position where you don’t even try anymore, yet keep wanting all of it to change, in order for you to finally be happy.

And then one day, a miracle happens.

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You meet someone, and the excitement takes over your judgment so rapidly, that you forget something essential: Like attracts alike.

In a short period of time, you come to the realization that this was not at all what you saw on the first day. Your partner will very probably be just as broken as you, if not more broken, and trust me, two minuses don’t go well together, at all.

Or, perhaps, there is a great chance that you could end up in an abusive relationship, as the emotional trauma and the nights cried to sleep will leave you with self destructive behavior from which you want to, but can’t escape. Verbal and even physical abuse that will even further worsen your outlook in life.

What do we learn from this?

Generally, nothing positive. However, in a few particular cases, it might represent the wake-up call all of us need in our lives.

In today’s world, sex it free. If you want to unwind you can probably find a solution to your necessities in under 15 minutes. But love is expensive. Not expensive in a financial sense, at least not in totality. There will always be people just like you. And as sorry as I am to say it, you get what you give, and it is imperative for you to be a quality person. No matter how beautiful your partner is on the exterior or the interior, if you want to receive all that you dreamed of all those years, you will have to take the lead and be strong in case they are lost, or have been driven off the path as a result of similar experiences, forgetting how is it to care anymore, ending up emotionally numb.

Don’t be the one looking for salvation, be the salvation. Males are supposed to be strong, but imagine a scenario where you have to deal with someone lacking confidence, and always longing for some sympathy. Now imagine the same thing from the opposite gender. It simply(no pun intended) does not work. And in the rare cases it does, love is the last thing you will get out of it.

Whatever you are currently dealing with, and no matter how lonely you might feel right now, you must suck it up and start developing into someone with a stronger personality. It’s a rude, unforgiving and heartless world that you can only have a chance in if there is no enemy within you. What we lack the most is what we must overcome in order to succeed in obtaining what we wish for. In our case, loneliness. True, it could take a very long time. Countless tears and doubts about yourself will follow all along, however if you get through it, your reward will not only be what you sought after, but also everything you will ever need. An unbeatable strength, a support for others in in need, and the world for that one person you always felt like it was missing. If you manage to overcome what you lack by not running but confronting your issues, there will be absolutely nothing that you will not be able to achieve.

Afterword

Thank you for reading, I hope I offered some insight as to what should one do when their world seems to crash around them because they lack someone in their life and feel like can’t get out of this situation.

What has loneliness taught you? Let me know below! Critique and praise are also welcome, if you feel like it. And if you are a new reader, as always, welcome!

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