Unique. A fitting verbal representation when it comes to describing us, humans. Through our intellect, we have became something no other species could replicate. We are able to love, to think, to act, and most importantly, to judge.
Judgment is a key factor that can make the difference between life and death, between success and failure. As true as this statement stands, we can still agree on the fact that our judgment can be altered and turned into a wrong direction, despite the responsibility it gives us, turning us from the greatest beings into a mess.
I often wonder, perhaps not as often as you might, what should someone do in order to chose the best path that will play an enormous role in their future. What’s even more angering, however, is that every direction I would look, someone out there does everything wrong. Wrong decisions, wrong influence, wrong perception of reality, and most importantly, a wrong perception of themselves.
As soon as someone is born, almost their entire life will be decided by the surrounding they grow up in, and the beliefs and behaviors they form. It doesn’t matter that you’ve got a brain if you will do what was presented to you as “right” and “wrong” by society, parents, social circles, tutors, and life events. The main differences that I always notice in those around me, and sometimes, sadly, in myself, are the ones that have the ability to mess up your entire life if taken as they come. Some are understandably very major, requiring a huge amount of effort in order to process, and eventually overcome them, while others are small, almost invisible, but will play an enormous role as they manifest through practice and time, something I like to consider a consequence of the butterfly effect(read more about it here).
If you feel lost, or unsure about what to do when understandably presented with today’s harsh reality, keep reading in order to find out my personal advice on overcoming and succeeding through the hardships you might have to deal with. It will not be an overly complicated explanation, neither will it be impossible to apply. Take this advice as you will, but remember that it is no more than personal advice based on events that I worked through(and still do).
At the base of human intelligence and evolution throughout life, stands change.
Change is something we desire, a psychological attribute of our superior intellect, and sometimes, a burden. Why exactly change? Because change, in itself represents the never ending interest through which we not only keep ourselves entertained, but also discover, and evolve. However, if we are deprived of change, our life might seem like it’s “stuck”, and we are unable to escape it’s grasp as it reaches and pulls us into depression sooner or later. Thanks to change, we have the ability to discover our values, beliefs, and dreams. If you feel like your life is stuck, you are not alone. Try breaking the loop through doing something new. If you don’t know where to start, start anywhere, even randomly. Pick something, and do it. In time, you will discover what you truly want, what truly matters and makes you happy in life, and what you would like to leave behind(let’s not become melodramatic, it is certainly a very important aspect of self help).
As the base of human desire, stands belief.
It does not matter whether your belief is religiously oriented, or self centered. As we chase our desires and goals, the lack of not seeing a result right away will throw us back to square one. Belief is very important, as it is something that represents the reason for which you have to fight, as well as your ideologies in general, through which you will act accordingly when put into different situations. If you feel like you lack belief, then go and find it. If it’s not in yourself, it might be anywhere from the earth to the sky, even in your will to create something lasting, something through which you will be remembered. Never forget that belief does not cease to be, we just lose it’s sight when it is proven seemingly useless. It is not useless, it is not strong enough.
Belief is the aspect which will be pulled on from a thousand chords throughout your life, by all the people around you. They will seem right, but they might be even worse than you would have imagined. Take your time, and listen to the world around you, but never ever believe what it tries to tell, without you thinking through it, and agreeing. There are exceptions of course, fundamental lies that can be manipulated, in order to appear seemingly true. Never ever believe someone who states the following:
- You are not good enough. There is no definition for good enough. Good enough means satisfaction of yourself. Not of others.
- You can not do x, y or z because of x, y or z. Anything you want, can be done. It is up to you to prove it to yourself, but ultimately even failure will be better than not trying at all because x, y, and z said it’s impossible.
- You should give up. No, you should not give up. Any time someone states such thing, or tries to imply your inability of success through the amount of failures you’ve had, they are describing their standards, not yours. You do not have standards, besides the ones you set yourself. And if your standards require trying forever, then so be it. It is your life, not theirs.
- This will make you happy — Love, money, success, etc… . Do not let anyone decide what will make you happy in life. You don’t have to conform to social standards and fall in line to be happy. You need to find what makes you happy, and do it. If you haven’t found it yet, keep searching.
- You have failed. Failure is not a condition, and it cannot be proven. Failure is only the denial of learning from your mistakes. It doesn’t matter the age, or circumstance. Failure is not a variable and certainly will never define someone who is true to themselves. If you messed up, try again. If you still breathe, try again. If you consider it failure, think again. It was an opportunity.
There are many more similar statements, excuse me, fundamental lies that should never define you despite what others imply. There are hundreds of ways to describe what I have said. It is more or less right depending on each person’s perspective, but in general, you should be able to take advice from it.
Some readers might be young, and not understand all this. Some might be old and still have doubts on what path to follow in life. Let me provide a clearer picture, feel free to jump past this part if you firmly believe you know what true priorities are in life.
- The only thing that should keep you awake at night are your dreams. The desire to succeed needs to almost physically hurt. When you will feel this, remember that it is what some people wait an entire life for. Be humble, but never weak. There will be times when you will be tested, and times where you will have no choice. This does not describe violence, don’t get it wrong. It describes the situations life will put you in.
- Before the top, many of us will hit the bottom. Do not allow yourself to lay there. You deserve more, but no one will give it to you. You have to do it yourself. No one cares about excuses, you will get up.
- Don’t become bitter as a result of your past or experiences. Along your life, even the little that you have can mean the world for someone. Don’t learn to hate, learn to help. Make hate your motivation.
- If you will ever be in a position of power, do not be a boss. Be a leader. Lead your followers, your team. Together you will accomplish the impossible. You got what it takes, and you will lift them up if need be.
- Do not use people, and don’t let yourself be used. Do not give something and expect it back. Whether it’s money, or love. Accept that it might never come back.
- Help others, but yourself first. In the meantime, do what you can, but do not let yourself be consumed by charity. Remember that you are a priority.
- Education, respect, routine, and persistence are your key elements. Work on them, and start developing them. You will fail, they will become weak yet again. Read the paragraph again.
- Think through well what you will follow in your life. Love might be surprisingly, not the answer.
- And lastly, keep your head straight, and do not allow anyone to define how much you can accomplish. Don’t motivate by instilling hate in others, motivate by teaching others their true values.
Optional: tell me what you thought of this post and let me know if you have any questions or suggestions. Follow me if you liked my content, and feel free to give criticism. If you are a new reader, welcome.
I’ve been absent from blogging for a few months. Due to personal reasons, I had to re-think what I would like to do on both a personal and professional level, whether I should continue, or not. In the future, I will provide hopefully great news, and further extend myself on the topic of self help[…] and I would like to thank all my readers who stuck(or perhaps forgot, hope not:) ) to my list. I hope to see you all in the future, and build a new great community!